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Questions to ask your parents, and how to keep their answers

By More Life · Last updated: October 2026

The best questions to ask your parents while you can are small and specific. Ask "What did your kitchen smell like growing up?" rather than "Tell me about your childhood." Ask one question at a time, let them wander, and record what they say in their own voice. Below are 100 questions grouped by stage of life, with a free printable list.

Download the free printable (PDF)Have Rachelle ask them

Why ask now

Most of us mean to ask. We figure there will be a long car ride, a quiet holiday or a better time. Then the questions arrive all at once, usually when there's no one left to answer them.

You don't need a big sit-down. You need one good question and a little patience. Celebration, not commemoration: the point is to hear the stories while the person telling them can still laugh at the good parts.

How to use these questions

  • Pick three, not thirty. One unhurried conversation about a single question beats a rushed interview.
  • Ask for a moment, not a summary. "What was your father like?" gets you a sentence. "Take me to one time your father made you laugh" gets you a story.
  • Follow the thread. The best follow-ups are short: "What happened next?" "Who else was there?" "How did that feel?"
  • Let them skip. Some questions open doors they don't want to walk through. That's fine. Move on.
  • Record it. A voice holds things a transcript can't: the pause before a name, the laugh halfway through. Ask before you record, and keep the recordings somewhere you won't lose them.
  • Go back for more. Their answers will lead you to better questions than any list can.

The questions

Childhood and the house you grew up in

  1. What was the house you grew up in like? Walk me through the front door.
  2. What did your kitchen smell like when you were small?
  3. Who was in your family growing up, and where did you fit in?
  4. What's your earliest memory?
  5. What games did you play, and who did you play them with?
  6. Was there a neighbor or relative you loved visiting? Why them?
  7. What did you get in trouble for?
  8. What was a normal Saturday like when you were ten?
  9. What did you want to be when you grew up?
  10. What's something from your childhood that doesn't exist anymore?

Your parents and grandparents

  1. What were your parents like when you were young?
  2. How did your parents meet?
  3. What did your mother or father do for work?
  4. What's a saying or phrase you heard from your parents all the time?
  5. What do you know about your grandparents, and where they came from?
  6. Are there family stories that get told at every gathering?
  7. Is there a family recipe? Who made it best?
  8. What's something your parents did that you swore you'd never do, and then did anyway?
  9. What do you wish you'd asked your own parents?
  10. Which relative do you think I'm most like?

School, friends and growing up

  1. What were you like as a teenager?
  2. Who was your best friend growing up? What did you two get up to?
  3. Was there a teacher who changed something for you?
  4. What music were you listening to at sixteen?
  5. What was the first thing you bought with your own money?
  6. Where did you and your friends go to get away from adults?
  7. What's the bravest or most foolish thing you did when you were young?
  8. When did you first feel like a grown-up?
  9. What did your parents worry about with you, and were they right?
  10. What did people get wrong about your generation?

Love and the people you chose

  1. How did you meet the people who mattered most to you?
  2. What was your first date like?
  3. When did you know you were in love?
  4. What made you laugh about the person you married or spent your life with?
  5. What's the best advice you got about love, and did you take it?
  6. Which friendships have lasted longest, and why do you think they did?
  7. Who did you lose touch with that you still think about?
  8. What does a good marriage or partnership need that nobody tells you?
  9. Who has been there for you when things were hard?
  10. Is there someone you never got to properly thank?

Work and what you were good at

  1. What was your first job? How much did it pay?
  2. How did you end up doing the work you did?
  3. What were you proud of at work?
  4. Who taught you the most about doing a job well?
  5. What was the hardest job you ever had?
  6. Was there a path you almost took instead?
  7. What did you learn to do with your hands?
  8. What's a skill you have that most people don't know about?
  9. What did you do when you weren't working?
  10. If you could have done any job at all, what would it have been?

Becoming a parent

  1. What do you remember about the day I was born?
  2. What were you most worried about when you became a parent?
  3. What was I like as a baby, and as a little kid?
  4. What's a story about me that I'm too young to remember?
  5. What was the hardest part of raising us?
  6. What did you get right as a parent that you're proud of?
  7. Is there anything you'd do differently?
  8. What did you hope for us that you never said out loud?
  9. What's a tradition you started that you hope we keep?
  10. What's the funniest thing one of us ever did?

Hard times and how you got through them

  1. What was the hardest year of your life?
  2. Who or what got you through it?
  3. Have you ever been really afraid? What happened?
  4. Is there a loss that changed you?
  5. What's a mistake you learned the most from?
  6. Was there a time you had to start over?
  7. When have you surprised yourself?
  8. How has the world changed in ways you didn't see coming?
  9. What did you worry about that turned out not to matter?
  10. What would you tell someone going through what you went through?

Places, food, music and the things you love

  1. Where's the most beautiful place you've ever been?
  2. If you could go back to one place for a single day, where would it be?
  3. What song takes you straight back to a particular moment?
  4. What's your favorite meal, and who makes it right?
  5. What book, film or show has stayed with you?
  6. What team did you cheer for, and why?
  7. What's a small everyday pleasure you never get tired of?
  8. Is there something you collected or kept for years?
  9. What's the best trip you ever took?
  10. What's a place from your life that's gone now? What was it like?

What you believe and what you've learned

  1. What do you believe that you didn't believe when you were young?
  2. What are you most grateful for?
  3. What does a good life look like to you?
  4. What's the best piece of advice anyone ever gave you?
  5. What have you changed your mind about?
  6. What do you think people worry too much about?
  7. When do you feel most like yourself?
  8. What makes you proud of our family?
  9. What do you want your grandchildren to know about you?
  10. What are you still curious about?

For later: messages and wishes

  1. How would you like to be remembered?
  2. What stories do you want us to keep telling about you?
  3. Is there something you've always wanted to tell me?
  4. Is there anyone you'd like to say something to that you haven't yet?
  5. What do you want us to know about how to take care of each other?
  6. Are there things, places or people you'd like us to look after?
  7. If we gather to celebrate your life someday, what should it feel like? What music should be playing?
  8. What should people bring, wear or eat?
  9. What would you want said to your grandchildren, or to great-grandchildren you may never meet?
  10. What do you hope we do with the rest of our lives?
Download the free printable (PDF)

How to record their answers

There's no wrong way to do it, as long as you do it.

  • Your phone's voice recorder. Free, and it's already in your pocket. Put it on the table, start it, and then forget about it. Label each file with the question and the date.
  • A notebook. Write down the stories that surprise you, even if you only catch half. Half a story is worth keeping.
  • Video. It's lovely to have, but a camera makes some people freeze up. If it does, go back to voice.
  • A guided interview they can do on their own time. Some parents talk more freely when their son or daughter isn't across the table. That's what Living Legacy is for.

Rather not hold the clipboard? Have Rachelle ask them

Some of the best answers come when nobody's watching. Living Legacy gives your mom or dad a private, unhurried interview with Rachelle (or Nate, if you prefer), one question at a time.

  • No account, no app. They open a private link and begin.
  • Type it or say it. They can write an answer or record it in their own voice.
  • At their pace. They can skip any question, stop whenever they like, and pick up where they left off.
  • Their words stay theirs. Nothing reaches you until they read their chapter and approve it. They can edit, delete or withdraw approval while they're living.
  • Some words wait. Answers in their "Share after I'm gone" section stay hidden until you confirm they have passed.

Rachelle is an AI interviewer, not a person. She asks her own set of questions and keeps their answers exactly as they gave them.

Living Legacy is part of The Legacy, a one-time plan ($300) with no subscription. Every memorial starts free.

Have Rachelle ask themStart free for a living parent

If your parent is seriously ill

If time is short, skip the list. Ask the one or two questions you'd regret not asking, then mostly listen. "Is there anything you want me to know?" is enough. Some people want to talk about their life. Others would rather talk about the weather. Follow their lead. If they want to leave words for later, a "Share after I'm gone" message can hold them until the time comes.

Frequently asked questions

What should I ask my parents while I still can?

Ask about specific moments rather than big summaries: the house they grew up in, how they met the people they love, the hardest year they got through, and how they'd like to be remembered. Pick a few questions, let them wander, and record their answers.

How do I start the conversation without it feeling heavy?

Start with something light and specific, like a photo, a song or a family recipe, and ask about that. Most people enjoy being asked about their life. You don't need to talk about endings at all to get the stories.

What if my parent doesn't want to answer?

Let them skip it. Come back another day with a different question, or try a lighter one. Some people find it easier to answer privately, in writing or in a recording, than face to face.

Is there a free printable PDF of these questions?

Yes. All 100 questions are in a free printable PDF on this page. There's no sign-up and no email required.

What's the best way to record my parents' life story?

The best way is the one you'll actually use. A phone voice recorder works well. If your parent would rather answer on their own time, Living Legacy gives them a private, guided interview where they type or record their answers and approve them before anyone sees them.